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How to Write a Rant

How to write a rant.I think we all agree that there is nothing like a good rant. It is therefore pleasing to see that this forum is home to some of the best rants. There are many examples of quality ranting threads – long series of postings, lots of mindless statements, lots of aggression and even some colourful insults. But to date these have been the domain of a select few. Is it not time we widened the pool of people involved and have all of us start and contribute to rants? I wondered if a lack of knowledge and confidence on how to rant was acting as a deterrent. So I thought I’d help.A side note to the noteworthy expert ranters on the forum. This thread is not really for you. Please do not feel insulted by the advise offered here. I am sure you will see the guidance given as 'ranting 101' and view yourself as skilled in all the techniques noted. Just be patient while we get everyone else up to speed.I’ve studied the forum postings over this last few months and I think I may have worked out the optimal formulation for setting up and maintaining a rant. The below has been distilled from a number of rants seen in local forums over the last year – although I must say that the Ealing forum is currently leading the way. We are all very proud.There seems to be only a few simple rules to follow and your contribution to the forum will be a proper rant. It is possible to apply these from any perspective, i.e. left-wing, right-wing, liberal, religious, anti-religious, globalisationist, isolationist, animal rights, human rights, etc. I suggest we all adopt this approach in our contributions to the forum as such ranting must surely be cathartic and a great way to allow pent up emotions vent. The aim of a good rant is two-fold. One it is to incite and stimulate a response. This is important but only a means to an end. The second goal, and the real objective, is to establish the very longest thread of posts. From my observations the aim of a rant is not to present a logical, structured or coherent argument. I am pleased to present these as a series of posts on this thread. Of course if this post or any of its subsequent follow-up posts stimulate a response then we have an interesting dilemma. Do I respond and create a rant – or ignore them and rise above the ranting? Probably the latter. I am here as a guide, not a contributor.Next – setting out the initial statement so that it triggers a long rant.

Alan Clark ● 6513d232 Comments ● 5666d

Terracotta Deli and Cafe Disappointment

I have been meaning to try it since it opened and this morning I did. How was it? Disappointing. The manager/owner spoke aggressively and sarcastically to his staff, who in turn didn't seem to know what they were doing, or if they did, were so afraid of their boss it hindered their ability to work with confidence. I think there were three serving staff, in addition to the owner/manager, which seemed too many. I wanted to give my order at the counter and then find a place to sit, but a waiter told me to sit and then brought over a menu. Unnecessary and time-consuming. The system in Munson's works better: walk in, decide what you want, order, then wait for the order to arrive.I ordered a latte. It came with chocolate sprinkled on top. When I asked why, the waitress said, in an ignorantly pleasant manner, that this was how latte is made. Also, it was cold. I'm not one of these people who want their milk to be scolding, it ruins the flavour of the coffee when made this way, but this coffee was just about tepid. The waitress replaced it immediately. The coffee flavour was average.I was charged £2.50 for the coffee. I thought the price was £1.80 (maybe the sit- down price was more, but this wasn't stated). I was hoping the owner/manager would ask me how the experience was so I could give him some feedback. After all, I want our independent establishments to succeed, but he didn't even thank me for my custom or say goodbye.Terracotta is a good-looking deli and coffee shop but the service, quality of coffee and the attitude of the owner/manager to his staff  means I won't be returning. Perhaps if the owner/manager had spent his energy of training his staff to the standards he and the customer expects he wouldn't have to chastise them when they made mistakes.Can anyone recommend a coffee shop in Northfields where one can guarantee a very good cup of coffee in nice surroundings?

Darren Halford ● 6644d25 Comments ● 5670d