Forum Topic

Guardian readers

I realized in another post I had used the word prodigy instead of progeny.My thanks to those who saw it but did not make a public spectacle of me for such a stupid error.For the others it set me thinking. I had been reading Luke 15:11-32 and the word prodigal had stuck in my mind. I then proceeded to think that not every knows what Luke is. Is it a film?, a computer game?, an internet chat room?Indeed my thoughts continued and by processes of logical deduction I arrived at the conclusion that the most probable group of Luke-ignorant people would be Guardian readers...... that group of left-wing let'em all in wannabe media types, and others, who wouldn't dare pick up a bible, which incidentally is where the Book of Luke is found, for fear of offending another culture. What they might do in private with handcuffs, whips, and so forth is a different matter.Another observation of these lentil-fuelled, wooden lavatory seat owning readers which I noticed on the Underground is the speed at which they read - slow. The words, word lengths and sentence structure of the Guardian is similar to those of the Daily Telegraph and Times newspapers. I put this down to to the fact that the DT and T are bought by individuals who are educated and have acquired a greater understanding than those who buy the Guardian and struggle to understand it.Personally I wouldn't use the Guardian even for emergency lavatory paper, unless it had been ironed to stop the ink running.

Alan Brainsby ● 6529d20 Comments

Nice one, Alan! Now have another deep draft of the old communion and take a well-earned breather. Love the logical deduction bit, brilliant!BTW, the only paper worth reading if you want well balanced news and editorial is the FT. But it's pink so you might want to hide inside the brown paper your other papers arrive in.

Verification Required ● 6529d

Nigel, your comments are most kind.Not bad praise for a Friday night's witterings of a "get 'em all out" individual who'd also like to see the blue removed from the Union Flag (but that's something else!).I agree with your comments about the FT - very matter of fact - but rather weighted towards money matters. Ah! That's why it's called "Financial". Perhaps they could improve its circulation bey calling it "My Money" or "Your Little Nest Egg". It's certainly the right colour for ladies and others of a certain persuasion.As a Telegraph newspaper reader I have no need of other newspapers, or as you accurately refer to some of them, papers as they carry little or no news.As you might expect we don't have brown paper in the house which leads me to the question - what "papers" do you read that arrive in brown paper? Am I/we missing something? Do tell! ;)

Alan Brainsby ● 6529d

Remember this?Jim Hacker:  Don’t tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers. The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country, the Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country, the Times is read by people who actually do run the country, the Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country, the Financial Times is read by people who own the country, the Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country and the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is.Sir Humphrey:  Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?Bernard Woolley:  Sun readers don’t care who runs the country, as long as she’s got big tits.

Marlene Plimley ● 6528d

Now see the real thing. Sorry, should have looked it up first. :-(http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cxdMFRwztl4

Marlene Plimley ● 6528d

I've had the impression over the last 30 odd years Alan, that in fact Guardian Adherents have been making an unholy mess of running the Country, whilst many of the rest of us had been getting 'all liquored up' in the Affluece Saloon.Don't know how this thread would have been recieved on W4.Maybe it would have taken some of them awhile to slowly read it!

Colin Vaughan ● 6528d

If this was on W4 some smarty would have made a song and dance about the mistake in 'affluence'.Just because I had upset the squeamish sensibilities of him/her.

Colin Vaughan ● 6528d

I live in W4 and can't even spell the word "Guardian"

Keith Welham ● 6528d

Alan,I,on the other hand,would not hesitate to use The Grauniad as loo paper.Can't think of a better use for it.

Keith Iddon ● 6528d

It was Private Eye that first used the term Grauniad because of all the spelling mistakes wasn't it?The Guardian probably makes good value loo paper compared to the cost of some offerings of hygienic paper (or whatever the technical term for that sort of paper is).And it's pre-tested! What they print on it doesn't come off, only smears (if not ironed)!

Alan Brainsby ● 6528d

As you know the Grauniad's never been the same since it (1) stopped caling itself the Manchester Guardian, and (2) subsequently moved from Manchester to London.Yet another example of a great and good Northern institution stolen by Southerners and screwed up. Just as the Halifax Bank stolen by Scots and screwed up. Roll on our great central heartland shrugging off its predatory neighbours and getting its life back.

Chris Veasey ● 6527d

As far as I can remember the Guardians move to London was an internal decision taken by the Board,there wasn't a takeover,I seem to think it's run by a trust or somesuch,I'm not a reader so I could be wrong.The Halifax wasn't really stolen by anyone,it was a merger with the RBS that was passed by the shareholders of both organisations.Subsequently bailed out by the government (ie us),the operational HQ is still in Halifax and the corporate HQ is in Edinburgh,for the time being at least.Then there's Northern Rock,as the name suggests,a Northern company,screwed up not by predatory Southerners,but bailed out mostly by  them (using a head count).If I were a Northerner,I'd be mostly angry about the demise of the heavy industries,coal and steel, started by the Thatcher government,aided by the unions and succesfully completed by the present incumbents of number 10. I share with you the desire to see the Midlands,North and Scotland industry resugent,it is possible but only just,shifting paper was never going to work.

Tony Wood ● 6527d

The Guardian is run by the Scott Trust which uses its resources to support the Guardian and the Observer. It still has many northern connections including local papers around Manchester and Channel M - local telly there. There are also a number of local radio stations.I think it is a great paper - better than the Times or Indie and with more resources than the Barclay-brothered Telegraph. But that's what you would expect.Personally, I balance it with the Daily Mail which I have read since I was 10.

Sara Nathan ● 6527d

I prefer the News Chronicle

Francis House ● 6527d

"I prefer the News Chronicle"That made me laugh...I remember delivering that in short trousers,mind you I was 34 at the time.The internet hasn't heard of it,isn't there a prize if you find one of them?The Daily Herald (left wing),The Daily Worker (lefter wing)and the Sunday Pictorial (rude) spring to mind..thanks!

Tony Wood ● 6527d

Wasn't it the Daily Herald that Rupert Murdoch used to create the Sun.Let there be light.

Francis House ● 6527d

The University of Google says you're correct,I didn't know that..cripes it *was* worth getting out of bed today.

Tony Wood ● 6527d

My father's family was originally from Manchester and I was brought up with the 'Manchester' Guardian as it was known for many years.  My grandfather had a number of letters printed in the mid 1930's when Priestley was editor. This was a great source of pride to my grandmother and somewhere I still have the letters.

Libby Kemp ● 6527d

Good to hear your evening with the Bible filled you with compassion and goodwill.

Gareth Gulson ● 6525d

Anyone remember'Titbits' and'Revellie(sp?)/

Keith Iddon ● 6525d

Libby, Just reading up on the Guardians history and noticed that William Crozier was editor during the thirties and your family would rightly have been proud at your grandfathers letters being published. Its possible Priestley was a direct correspondent with your grandfather so those letters need to be checked!

Robert Darke ● 6525d