As a counterbalance to the Jew objecting to the church cross, this Goy passes on wisdom from a Jewish friend."Things My Jewish Mother Taught Me"My Jewish mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE."If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."My Jewish mother taught me RELIGION."You better pray that will come out of the carpet."My Jewish mother taught me LOGIC."Because I said so, that's why."My Jewish mother taught me MORE LOGIC."If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."My Jewish mother taught me FORESIGHT."Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."My Jewish mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS."Shut your mouth and eat your supper."My Jewish mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM."Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"My Jewish mother taught me about STAMINA."You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."My Jewish mother taught me about HYPOCRISY."If I told you once, I've told you a million times--don't exaggerate!"My Jewish mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION."Stop acting like your father!"My Jewish mother taught me about ENVY."There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."My Jewish mother taught me about ANTICIPATION."Just wait until we get home."My Jewish mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."My Jewish mother taught me ESP."Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"My Jewish mother taught me DARK HUMOR."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."My Jewish mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."My Jewish mother taught me GENETICS."You're just like your father."My Jewish mother taught me WISDOM."When you get to be my age, you'll understand."And the most enduring one: My Jewish mother taught me about JUSTICE."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
Graham Weeks ● 6459d