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Shocking headline:  "Dad at 13"

What do you all think about this story in today's newspapers? I could hardly believe it and everyone I have spoken to feels the same!The boy in question is 13 years of age but from his photo looks about 7 or 8! The "girlfriend" is 15 years old I believe.What is happening in today's society that children are having children? What were the parents doing allowing boys to sleep with their 14 year old daughter? Apparently this lad was one of 3 lovers! Unbelievable!Alfie, one of nine children said today: "I dfidn't know what it would be like to be a dad. I will bhe good though, and care for it. Asked how he would cope financially, Alfie replied in a video clip posted on YouTube: "What's financially?" What is the answer to all this - too much or too little sex education in school? No parental control?It's tragic really!

Jean F Fernandez ● 6437d19 Comments

I saw the article and the picture too - I was flabbergasted; the lad looked so young it was scary. Being a parent to a two year old boy I think that parents have a lot to answer for. I believe you can instill a value system in children from a very early age, ably supported by attending church every Sunday.

Diane Gill ● 6437d

I don't know if this is partly the result of too much sex education too young or not enough.Poor parenting for sure and a disturbing desire amongst the young to be adults far too soon. I heard a 15 yr old gassing on about 'also being an adult'on the radio and no one seemed to want to say to her that actually she wasn't and should value the fact that she was still an adolescent child as those years pass all too quickly.She would not be trusted in the workplace as an adult nor should she be expected to take on the responsibilities of one.Childhood,with all its wonder and mystery,seems to be disappearing fast.I'm glad I had one that lasted as long as it did.

Keith Iddon ● 6437d

I agree Keith, I don't think I would like to be growing up in this day and age. We had so much freedom when I was a child. Money was tight but childhood days were carefree.The children today seem to be trying to be adults at such an early stage in their development. They also have so much peer pressure to become involved in everything associated with adulthood.Stores have been repremanded in the past for selling realy unsuitable clothes for little girls, even little high heeled shoes for babies!Children experimenting with drink and drugs is also a worry, where did it all go wrong?It is so very sad.

Jean F Fernandez ● 6437d

Jean,I also hate to hear a parent saying'my child is my best friend'.You can have loads of friends in your life but only 2 parents,if you're lucky.I also thinkparents should be paying more attention to their marraige and less to their kids in a lot of cases.That marriage may last a lot longer if they did.This whole family seem to have been sucking on the titty of the nanny state for generations and there are far too many like them who are feckless,shiftless and would rather watch sky tv(paid for by you and me)all day than show a bit of moral fibre and self respect by working and paying their own way.Part of the problem is the way single mums have been indulged by nanny.If the state said that the first child a single mum had would be funded but any subsequent child would receive no financial help or housing consideration but would probably be fostered or taken into care until the mothere could provide for it I think we would have a different picture.Methinks the parenting of these kids would be much improved in some cases also.We are way too soft and too much of an easy touch.

Keith Iddon ● 6437d

How can you brand "single mums" in that way? Is what you mean women who have children out of wedlock by one or more non-resident men? A single mum actually includes those abandoned by feckless men, those widowed - scarcely their fault, those raped if they choose not to abort. Don't brand them all so sweepingly. Anyhow, it may not be the single-mumness that creates all the problems: relative financial deprivation seems to have quite a lot to do with it too. A large part of the cause may be that the age of menarche or puberty is getting earlier all the time - for instance, it's down from an average of 17 in the early 20th century for girls to under 13 now. This combines with society postponing the time when young people become economically independent until they are somewhere between about 17 and 25. So the arrows are going in the opposite directions and giving rise to confusion and conflict in the middle.Of course discipline and its absence, inertia, lack of intelligence and ambition may all play their part too and I would always argue for two loving, disciplined parents over one shiftless one. But it doesn't help to oversimplify.

Sara Nathan ● 6437d

Sara,I thought it was obvious I was talking about single mums like this one.Fecklesss,from a long line of feckless layabouts.Anyway,that's who I mean.I agree that a major part of the problem is absentee fathers,but when you consider in a single parent family there are sometimes 4 or 5 fathers(poor Shannon Matthews ring any bells?) it does make you wonder.One thing is for sure,imo,we have to get the idea of benefits for life,more kids=bigger council house,and address all the general problems and difficulties that some single parents have and present to society when bringing kids up,especially boys up as they get older.We have to break the cycle of deprevation that has created an underclass.You can't make an omelette without bereaking eggs.I do have sympathy for young single mums,but one's who have 3 kids by three different men?We are in danger of forgetting their life chances in this too.They are not baby making machines.They could be learning skills at college or uni.or have a career.

Keith Iddon ● 6437d

I don't suppose many set out to have three kids by three different men...apart from anything else, even being a mediocre single mother is jolly hard work compared to going out and earning a living. So how do we incentivise young women to be confident, literate and employable? How do we educate them to be good mothers of not many children? I was in a youth court recently and the Magistrates talked about parenting orders - but don't often make them. They do have people offering parenting support though and some parents (not necessarily single ones) are glad of it. It's extraordinary isn't it that parenting is possibly the hardest job we do, yet we are offered no help, advice, training for it. Should parenting be taught in schools maybe?

Sara Nathan ● 6436d

What we can't do is leave it as it is,especially in light of poor little baby P and that other tragic little baby recently in the news.Only God could forgive those despicable excuses for human beings that called themselves parents to those doomed children.William Blake said it''Some are born to sweet delight and some are born to endless night''.Why does it seem to have to be like this?Teenage pregnancy is no longer stigmatising,but a badge of honour.This is would be funny if it were not tragic and didn't ruin the kids life and the mum's more often than not,The media may well be culpable to a large extent,especially those image obsessed'me me me'magazines that young girls read.We have been too 'softly softly touchy feely'and look where it has brought us.Nearly 1 million one parent families.Makes you proud,don't it?

Keith Iddon ● 6436d

I heard on the news today, that the 13 year old boy might NOT be the father of the baby. A number of other boys was having sex with the same girl ( mother of the baby) at the same time as the 13 yr old boy.

Mark Yates ● 6436d

One of the other possible fathers is 14.

Gillian Healey ● 6436d

I was just waiting for the next stage and didn't have to wait long.....the father of the 13 year old boy is now trying to sell his story to the highest bidder. He is quoted as saying "Alfie is too young but I have to make the most of it.  I'm going to make as much money as I can!"The boy's father nicknamed "The Babyfather" has no less than 9 children plus 3 stepchildren.In the meantime the boy's mother is also negotiating with the press and trying to broker a deal to sell HER story.Not to be outdone it is understood the young girlfriend and baby were absent from their home after they too struck a deal!So it would appear there is lots of money to be made from this sorry tale, I wouldn't be surprised to hear others jumping on the bandwagon!

Jean F Fernandez ● 6436d

Will they lose their benefits if they sell the story for a sum?I did read that when the girl is 16 she could get a council house and live there claiming child benefit for the father. Surely that can't be true can it?

Gillian Healey ● 6436d

But it's because we all read these stories that they are able to sell them to the tabloids. Oxygen of publicity?

Susan Kelly ● 6436d

Any money being paid out for selling the story to the newspapers should go towards a trust fund for the poor defenceless baby in this case.Surely benefits should not be paid to the parents of these children as well as large sums of money from the newspapers?On the contrary the parents should be taken to task for failing in their duty towards these youngsters. What sort of example are they setting?

Jean F Fernandez ● 6436d

Re  I heard a 15 yr old gassing on about 'also being an adult'on the radio       xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx    The mother at age 15 is several years older than not only the accepted age of marriage for females but child-bearing in one of the world's main religions. Don't forget the " Prophet " himself was  well into his fifties when he  married a girl of 6 and consumated that marriage when she was 8 or 9. In the Jewish religion, a male is " barmitzva'd at age 13, when he becomes an adult. The revulsion shared by most of we living in the West by the latest revelation just goes to prove how much humanity has moved on from the norms of certain religions. Jewish people  having lived among other societies for 2 millenia have long since abandoned  most of their religion's activities, such as stoning to death, animal sacrifice, persecuting gays etc etc.

Tony Price ● 6435d

Re  I also thinkparents should be paying more attention to their marraige and less to their kids in a lot of cases        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx        yes, and have you also noticed and be saddened by the fact many parents seem to do what their young children want and not the other way round. Some parents  ask their young children as opposed to telling them, which I think imbues into the child a false and over enhanced feeling of importance. In their formative years, children need to be led, taught and generally brought along whereas in many instances, it seems the other way round. Those parents I think ought not to be parents as they are so unsure of themselves and their abilities.

Tony Price ● 6435d

Re  that parenting is possibly the hardest job we do,        xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx    I don't know about hardest but most certainly is the most responsible and in which if the parents don't " get it right " all sorts of problems will arise, and sadly many are not up to the job.

Tony Price ● 6435d

Re I heard on the news today, that the 13 year old boy might NOT be the father of the baby. A number of other boys was having sex with the same girl ( mother of the baby) at the same time as the 13 yr old boy.          xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx      the mind boggles as to what sort of mother she will make. God help the child, what a start in life, poor thing.

Tony Price ● 6435d

I suppose if none of us bought the People, News of the Screws, Express, Sun, Star and Mail, nor Hello or OK nor watched GMTV or Big Brother or (especially maybe) celebrity Big Brother, this sort of circus would seem less appealing.... and certainly less lucrative.People power works on the press - look at sales of the Sun in Liverpool after Hillsborough and what News International had to do to try and win them over again.

Sara Nathan ● 6435d