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A Friday funny...

...from a friend in the 'States' (so please excuse the spelling).Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.''Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light. 'The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?''Yes, I do.' said Bob'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?''Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.''And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?' 'She just died and left me everything.'

Nigel Brooks ● 5299d3 Comments

A friend of mine recently met a lovely woman and he was begining to think she may be the one,the ideal woman.He secretly had a peek in her knicker drawer and found a nurse'e uniform,a french maid's outfit and a policewoman's kit.He had to give her the elbow tho'as he said he wanted a woman who could hold down a job.

Keith Iddon ● 5299d

A farmer had an accident with a lorry ,and was sueing the lorry company.In court their hot-shot solicitor was questioning him.Solicitor: 'Now didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' .Farmer: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Millie, into the...'Solicitor: 'I didn't ask for any details','Just answer the question. Did you not tell the police officer, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?'Farmer: 'Well, I had just got Millie into the sidecar and I was driving down the road....'The solicitor interrupted again and said, 'Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the police on the scene that he was fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.'By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in the famer's answer and said to the solicitor: 'I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Millie'.The farmer thanked the Judge and proceeded. 'Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Millie, my favourite cow, into the sidecar and was driving her down the road when this huge lorry and trailer came through a stop sign and hit me right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Millie was thrown into the other. I was hurt very bad like, and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Millie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible pain just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a policeman on a motorbike turned up. He could hear Millie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her condition, he took outhis gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the policeman came charging across the road, gun still in hand, looked me up and down, and said, “How badly are you hurt?”''Now what would you have said'?

Nigel Brooks ● 5299d

Nigel . That was a good Friday Funny .Thanks It really kept me and my mates who heard it very amused .

Os A Whittle ● 5297d