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July smile

Tony the farmer was in the fertilised egg business He had several hundred young laying hens (pullets) and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to fertilise the eggs.Tony kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Tony could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.Farmer Tony's favourite rooster was old Gordon, and a very fine specimen he was too. But on this particular morning Tony noticed old Gordon's bell hadn't rung at all!Tony went to investigate. All the other roosters were chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But to farmer Tony's amazement, Gordon had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do the business and walk on to the next one.Tony was so proud of Gordon, he entered him in the West Berks County Fair and Gordon became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded Gordon the No Bell Peace Prize but they also awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.Clearly Gordon was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.Do you know a Politician called Gordon?

Graham Weeks ● 6299d18 Comments ● 6269d

Selling Kittens

I volunteer for a local animal rescue charity, and we are the ones who end up with the unwanted kittens. Please don't advertise them on Gumtree.  We recently followed up an ad and all the kittens were sick, not vaccinated and these people were using the females as breeding machines.  People buy kittens not realising the commitment they are taking on - up to 20 years.  People move and then can't find a landlord who will accept pets, and they are often abandonded.  How do you know your kittens are going to a good home, do you go round and inspect before letting them take the kitten.  Can you be sure the kittens will be neutered and not allowed to produce yet more unwanted kittens.  We can't home kittens at the moment and ours are fully vaccinated and health checked before homing.  The current financial climate is having terrible repercussions on animal welfare.  Not suggesting for one minute that you don't care about where your kittens end up, but it is difficult to home them at the moment.  Please have your cat neutered at the first opportunity.  There is help out there for cut price neutering if cost is an issue.  Female cats can get pregnant again before the first batch of kittens are ready to leave the mother.  Sorry to rant on but the reality of unwanted animals is heartbreaking and our foster homes are full to bursting.  If anyone wants to adopt a cat/kitten/rabbit/guinea pig please log on the website www.haws-animals.org.uk

Carol Atkinson ● 6277d5 Comments ● 6270d